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Betrayed"If we broke up I'd do anything to get you back."
I'm just a train-wreck
Just another number
No more significant
Than a single hair
On your head
Who is she?
Why aren't I enough?
I can forgive
I can forgive
You've felt for so long
But what I can't forgive
Is this betrayal.
You say she's irrelevant
You say you love me
That polyamory is your forte
But I don't remember
Signing that contract
That said you could
You say I'm beautiful
But you never want sex
Is my body not enough?
Is she skinnier?
Less inclined to challenge
Your faults and discrepancies?
I fear you are tired of me
No longer in love
But you tell me
No, that is not the case
Well if it isn't,
Why are you with her
And not me?
It's not cheating.
We broke up,
It's not cheating.
Well if it's not cheating
Why do I feel betrayed?
I didn't want to leave you
I still want you
But you left me
ChimeraA chimera in the dark
A chimera in the night
Run for your life
Run for your life
Your bones in two
A chimera on the run
A chimera chasing you
Run for the hills
Because they'll rip
And mutilate you
With snapping jaws
And grabbing paws
Teeth as sharp as hell
Run form me
Run from me
For I am a chimera too
The Motions of LifeGoing through the motions of life.
Living. Not breathing. Not here.
Just a faded echo.
Emotions lost. Just guilt.
Why me? Why me.
I don't want to say goodbye.
It hurts. I can't forget. I'm lost.
I want to forget. Why did you do it?
Why did you hurt me?
Concrete walls encage the heart.
Crushing it when it tries to grow.
You made these walls, not I.
To vanish. Beautiful peace. Beautiful endless peace.
No more suffering or hurt. No more pain or sleepless nights.
Too many hands. Too many villains.
To Find a LightThe world doesn't need me.
It has enough poets.
My hope is my lover,
Who's angel heart
Holds my head above
The water to stop me
In this great pool of tears.
My shrunken body,
Lost in darkness,
My only company a small light;
My love who guides me.
There are other lights, though
I do not see them
Or feel their warmth
But I sense their presence.
For these lights are the people who
Care, but I have lost my ability to see.
The ones who hold me, who calm me
When I'm weeping
Images in my head so vivid.
Memories of a distant past that
I know they are there
I know they see me
Clear as skies.
But their reach is hard to grasp
Fumbling in the dark.
Ode to LoveLook at you, so small and quaint
So pitiful, yet so alluring
Waiting for me without a complaint,
Subtle sweetness on your lips, luring
Me to a place of false affection
And honesty. While you devour
My heart with your insubordinate
And impractical opportunistic infection
That which you call love! Pray tell, how're
You to expect our hearts to coordinate?
I remember once, while kissing your lips
I felt my heart soar, with utter bliss
I must be caught in insanity's grip,
For my love was lost in the black abyss
All those years ago when the man
Who took my dreams also took
My soul. Now I am merely a shell
Of the girl I was before this began.
You say you can help me but just look
At what little he left me with after sanity's knell.
Little boy, how can you follow
Such a damaged girl so absolutely?
Do you not find yourself in a wallow
Of worry, hurt, and utter astute
Vexation? I am puzzled by your devotion
Yet I cannot find it in my heart
To turn you away, for I fear that loosing
You would hurt
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
now i see the stars.there was a time when i
couldn't catch my breath whenever i
thought about you , (crippled lungs and-
boy, you hit me like an asteroid,
there's a crater on my chest now that I can't ever seem to fill,
oceans of my tears cried on
nights when you couldn't be there to sing me to sleep.
thirty two poemless days after you joined the constellations,
i walked out into the yard and howled to the empty sky,
for a moment i was Gaea, rivers running down my cheeks,
weighted to the ground and
buried in myself, but
where there is no light there are no shadows, and
sometimes, i wonder if i miss me.
yes, i do.
i may not see the moon, but
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
i am made of nights like theseativan boy, you cannot empty out this skull -
not with a pen nor with a bullet. you can
be my hallowed head(case) for spitting out
words like teeth; oh, but i will only love you
when you're weary. i will keep crows caged
between your lungs like veins, like palpitations.
i will rot you through bones & car radios,
but i will never get (you) out of your skin.
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
A broken heartI promised myself I'll never fall in love
Whenever I fall in love I feel renewed and happy
But like a drug
Once everything finishes
I'm crying, depressed and the wreckage of my heart
I always end up feeling worse
I want to find someone that is special
But I'm afraid to suffer again
I'm afraid of losing another person
Do not want to suffer
Do not make me suffer, do not lie to me
Do not hurt me, no more
I will not hold on to people who only sink me
I'll be free and live with have left
A cold and lonely spirit.
Running, FreeRunning water
Streams we'll never seek,
Running through the Earth
at such a ferocious pace.
Not for ourselves,
Not for our world,
But for freedom.
that doesn't exist:
not really; Not at all.
A freedom to live, as life is precious.
A freedom to love, as love is
always free; we just need to
Or, if we cannot,
Where is it?
In our hearts, our minds?
or merely our imagination?
Or perhaps it is nowhere;
after all, if it were somewhere
it would surely be
Gushing through valleys,
the liquid of life,
the thing that keeps us standing:
But with one blow it is all Gone.
A spurt. A choke.
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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